PAPAMOA ROOFING CREW DOWNS TOOLS EVERY TIME A PLANE PASSES — CITES "SAFETY"
Tauranga Airport is 4km away. The crew has stopped work 38 times since Monday.
Constable Dave Pearce
Dave treats every stolen garden gnome like an Interpol case.
MT EDEN PRIMARY FUNDRAISER MOVES 400 ROLLS OF WRAPPING PAPER NOBODY ASKED FOR
The PTA calls it a record year. The garages of Mt Eden tell a different story.
PAPAMOA MAN THIRD-DEGREE CRISPY AFTER FORGETTING SUN STILL WORKS IN SEPTEMBER
It was 19 degrees. He was outside forty minutes. He is now the colour of a chorizo.
STOKE DAD FILMING UNDER-11 FOOTY FOR "THE TRIBUNAL" — TRIBUNAL DOES NOT EXIST
He has 47 hours of footage. He has been told 31 times there is no tribunal.
MT EDEN BUILDER NAMES EVERY NAIL ON SITE, REFUSES TO HAMMER UNTIL GREETED PROPERLY
Job is eleven weeks behind. The foreman's calling in sick. The nails have surnames.
HAMILTON EAST NOTICEBOARD LEAF-BLOWER FEUD ENTERS WEEK SIX, PARTIES NOW WRITING IN BOLD
What began as a polite A4 request has escalated to laminated rebuttals and at least one diagram.
DEVONPORT FERRY COMMUTER REPORTS "COORDINATED" SEAGULL CAMPAIGN, WANTS CHARGES LAID
Victim alleges the same bird has been clocking him since Tuesday. Police have classified it as a Bird Matter.
MOSGIEL BLOKE RECKONS THE WIND HAS IT IN FOR HIM SPECIFICALLY
Wheelie bin last seen heading for Outram at pace. Owner not invited.
ONERAHI SANTA PARADE DELAYED 47 MINUTES BY UNAUTHORISED GOAT
Owner told organisers the goat was 'for atmosphere'. Organisers say the atmosphere was already fine.
GLADSTONE UNDER-11 SIDELINE NEARLY GOES FERAL OVER MANDARIN SUBSTITUTION AT HALF-TIME
Club treasurer cited budget. Sideline cited treason. Constabulary cited Section 4.
STOKE 'FOUND OBJECT MUSEUM' OPENS WITH ONE HUBCAP AND A 40-MINUTE STORY
Curator confirms the hubcap is from a 1987 Corolla. The story is from 1992 and unrelated.
NEWMARKET BUNNINGS SAUSAGE SIZZLE DESCENDS INTO ONION-PLACEMENT STANDOFF
Operator put the onions under the sausage. Customer put the onions on the ground. Then she put herself in his face.
KARORI STREET AT WAR OVER MISSING GARDEN HOSE
Two factions, one cul-de-sac, zero hose. Police describe the situation as 'ongoing and frankly embarrassing'.
BISHOPDALE OP SHOP MUG SPARKS BIDDING WAR, POLICE CALLED, MUG STILL $2
Two women, one mug, one volunteer named Pat who has now requested a transfer to Hornby.
BISHOPDALE WOMAN CONVINCED NEIGHBOUR'S SOLAR PANELS ARE "WATCHING HER HANG WASHING"
Complainant has filed three reports, two diagrams, and a strongly worded letter to ECan.
LINWOOD FENCE PAINTED "COASTAL FOG" TRIGGERS FORMAL MEDIATION AT COMMUNITY HALL
The neighbour wanted Mist Grey. She got blue.
ONERAHI BUILDER DECLARES KITCHEN RENO "FINISHED EXCEPT THE FINISHING" — HOMEOWNER DISAGREES
There are no benchtops, no skirtings, and one wall remains, in the builder's words, "largely conceptual".
MT EDEN GNOME MISSING SINCE TUESDAY — NEIGHBOURLY THREAD NOW 84 COMMENTS AND ZERO LEADS
Police have not ruled out that the gnome walked off. At this stage they've ruled out nothing.
ROSLYN WOOLWORTHS REJECTS GIFT CARD FOR BEING "TOO FESTIVE" — IT IS AUGUST
Cashier told customer the card had "a vibe" the system wasn't comfortable with.