PYES PA GARDEN HOSE THEFT ENTERS THIRD WEEK, STREET NOW SPLIT INTO 'TWO CAMPS'
Sources on Cheyne Road say the cul-de-sac hasn't spoken as one unit since the 4th.
Vince Tipene
Covers student flats, regional pride, and the cold with gentle pointed absurdity.
PAK'NSAVE ROLLS OUT QUEUE FOR THE QUEUE, RANGIORA BRACES FOR IMPORT
An Auckland trial has North Canterbury shoppers already rehearsing their sighs.
ROSLYN RESIDENTS DEMAND ANSWERS AFTER NEWMARKET TRAMPOLINE ARRIVES UNINVITED ON HILLSIDE LAWN
A Stuff investigation can reveal the trampoline travelled 1.4km before landing in a lawyer's hydrangeas.
ELLERSLIE PERGOLA PASSES COUNCIL INSPECTION, FAILS BASIC LAWS OF PHYSICS
Consented, signed off, and leaning 14 degrees closer to the neighbour's spa pool than it was Monday.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS TARADALE SNOW PANIC WAS BASED ON "A BLOKE'S HUNCH"
After 14 months and $2.3 million, the Commission has determined it did not, in fact, snow.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS MANGAKINO UMBRELLA INVERSION 'INEVITABLE', RECOMMENDS 47 REFORMS
After 14 months and $2.3m in legal fees, the Commission has determined the umbrella was, on the balance of probabilities, a bit shit.
ALEXANDRA WOMAN'S BROCCOLI POINTS DISPUTE ENTERS SECOND WEEK, NEW WORLD "LOOKING INTO IT"
Clubcard says 40 points. Receipt says 4. Deborah says she'll die on this hill.
TAWA HOCKEY DAD BRINGS MEGAPHONE TO UNDER-11 GAME, REFUSES TO PUT IT DOWN EVEN AFTER YELLOW CARD
He's from Auckland, he's got batteries, and he's not going anywhere.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS KEITH THE GARDEN GNOME BELONGS TO NEITHER HENDERSON FAMILY, POSSIBLY BOTH
After 47 sitting days and one adjournment for a barbecue, the Commission delivers its findings on Awapuni's gnome question.
SPREYDON PTA MEETING ENTERS FOURTH HOUR AS WELLINGTON TRANSPLANT REFUSES TO LEAVE
She brought a two-litre thermos. Locals now understand this was a warning.
MARTON HALL DOUBLE-BOOKED: YOGA CLASS AND BINGO NIGHT NOW SHARING THE FLOOR
The downward dogs are down. The bingo callers are ropeable. Nobody's leaving.
HIGHBURY SCHOOL LOST PROPERTY BIN NOW DEEP ENOUGH TO REQUIRE 'ARCHAEOLOGICAL ASSESSMENT', PARENTS TOLD
Bottom layer predates the current principal. Possibly the current century.
MAUNU PRIMARY SOCK HEIGHT ROW ENTERS THIRD WEEK, PTA CHAIR NOW MEASURING ANKLES
The policy says 'mid-calf'. One mum reckons that's a range. The chair reckons it's a line.
MAREWA WOOLWORTHS LOYALTY POINTS EXPIRE OVERNIGHT — LOCALS FORM QUEUE OF GRIEVANCE BY 7AM
Denise had been saving for a ham since March. The ham is now theoretical.
MOUNT VIC TOUCH MODULE ADOPTS MOSGIEL'S SARCASM SIN BIN — FIRST OFFENDER LASTED FOUR MINUTES
A public servant told the ref "oh mate, GREAT call" and was in the bin before the restart.
LINWOOD CAT NAMED 'PERSON OF INTEREST' IN NEIGHBOURLY POLL, DECLINES TO COMMENT
The cat, known to the street as Mr Whiskerston, has received 43 of 61 votes and is currently asleep on a Corolla.
ATAWHAI UNDER-11 SAUSAGE SIZZLE SETS OFF LIBRARY SMOKE ALARM, EVACUATES BOOK CLUB
The onions were browning. So, briefly, was the non-fiction section.
ISLAND BAY DECK PROMISED 'TUESDAY' NOW ENTERING THIRD YEAR OF TUESDAYS
The Auckland chippie who took the job in 2022 has since had two kids and one divorce.
PUKETE PAK'NSAVE STRIPPED OF BREAD AND MILK BY 8AM OVER FORECAST 'LIGHT FROST'
MetService said minus one. Hamilton said stock up like the roads are closing.
GREENMEADOWS SCHOOL APP FIRES 47 MUFTI DAY NOTIFICATIONS BEFORE BREAKFAST
By 8.14am one mum had turned her phone off and cried into a flat white.