PAPAMOA CHEMIST IN PANADOL PANIC AS WEATHER WORRIES LOOM
The minor weather event has sent locals scrambling for relief, but a chemist's shelves were bare.
Barry Hoskins
Barry has never met a seagull incident he couldn't stretch to 800 words.
SCAFFOLDERS IN NAPIER ADD 'ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT' TO BILL
*Local scaffolders revel in a new pricing model that has tradesmen shaking their heads.*
KARORI TO EXPERIENCE A BARRAGE OF BLOODY AGGRESSIVE PEAS!
A sudden hail storm has left locals debating whether to run for cover or grab their dinner plates.
MT EDEN FUNDRAISER SELLS WRAPPING PAPER FOR THE AGES
You won't believe what's flying off the shelves at the local primary school fundraiser.
GLITTER BAN DECLARED AFTER BIBLICAL INCIDENT AT TAKAPUNA SCHOOL
_The shiny menace has apparently wreaked havoc at an innocent school fundraising event._
LINWOOD SCARECROW NAMED BEST DRESSED AT FICTITIOUS AWARDS SHOW
The annual non-event leaves locals scratching their heads and giggling uncontrollably.
K-MART'S 'TREASURE HUNT' TURNED OUT TO BE A BUMMER
_Lost stock misrepresented as an exciting adventure leaves locals wanting to swab the deck._
NEW CAFE ABSOLUTE HELL: PIGEON DECLINES TIPS
A plucky Newtown pigeon has found its calling at a local café, and it’s very much a ‘no thanks’ to tips.
GARDEN GNOME WARS RAVAGE HENDERSON
A garden gnome named Keith becomes the centrepiece of a monumental dispute between two families.
NEIGHBOURLY SOLAR PANELS ACCUSED OF SPYING
_Bishopdale's finest feud escalates over energy efficiency._
LIBRARY LOANERS LITIGATE OVER FINES: A FINE HOW-DO-YOU-DO!
A heated debate erupts over overdue library fines and dignity at the Henderson Library.
LOCAL TRADIE CLAIMS ROOF HOLE IS 'VENTILATION, BRO'
*A bold new interpretation of architectural design has hit Karori, and it’s blowing through like a southerly squall.*
MAILBOX GRAFFITI: THE YOUTHS STRIKE AGAIN!
Local residents in Roslyn are expressing their frustrations over recent acts of vandalism.
HUMIDITY IN SUMNER DECLARED A PUBLIC SAFETY CONCERN
_Residents warn that frizzy hair might cause traffic delays._
DOG SELLS OUT OWNER AT LOCAL COMMITTEE MEETINGS
*In a shocking revelation, a Gladstone dog is deemed more reliable than its owner.*
BLOODY FOG IN STOKE TURNS SCHOOL RUN INTO NOIR THRILLER
_Parents grapple with fog as thick as 1974's best jams_.