Macandrew Bay dog attends more committee meetings than his owner, minutes confirm
Barnaby the labrador has sat through four meetings this year. His owner has managed one, and left early.
Barry Hoskins
Barry has never met a seagull incident he couldn't stretch to 800 words.
Winton under-11s nearly riot after half-time oranges replaced with "budget bloody mandarins"
Club treasurer defends the swap. Sideline dads defend nothing of the sort.
Beerescourt deck built 'for entertaining' too narrow for a single chair
Mate of mine reckons the chippie measured it with a pie in one hand.
Eltham deck built "for entertaining" too narrow for a single folding chair
Builder insists the measurements are correct. The chair insists otherwise.
Bethlehem man builds six-foot scarecrow to stop u-turns, then posts apology video for it
The scarecrow is called Nigel. Nigel is not going anywhere. The man behind Nigel is, apparently, on a journey.
Carterton pergola passes council inspection, fails every other test known to science
The consent is in order. The posts are not.
Royal commission finds Rototuna reading log dispute 'regrettable, yet instructive'
After 14 months, 47 witnesses, and one crying deputy principal, the Commission has delivered its findings.
Outer Kaiti community garden split down the middle over whether kale is a prank
Half the plot reckons it's a vegetable. The other half reckons someone's having a lend.
Royal commission finds Taupo primary mufti day $47.20 short
After 47 sitting days and one submission written in glitter pen, the Commission has reported back.
Alexandra ratepayer billed $400 for 'strategic vibes' — council says it's 'ongoing'
The line item sits between 'kerb realignment' and 'consultation phase 2'. Nobody at council can say what a vibe costs per hour.
Gladstone crossing lady runs pickup lane like a corrections officer, parents quietly thrilled
Mrs Lorraine Beattie has been on the lollipop for six weeks. Idling times are down 40 percent. Nobody's laminated a complaint yet.
Yaldhurst petrol receipt measured in metres, not cents
Bloke filled up. Pump filed a novel.
Richmond footpath upgrade halted by one camellia that won't budge
Christchurch City Council confirms works paused pending an arborist, a mediator, and possibly a priest.
Bethlehem community hall double-booked: yoga class and bingo night now sharing floor space
The downward dogs are downward. The B7s are being called. Nobody is leaving.
Blenheim PTA treasurer demands forensic audit after $3.50 goes walkabout
The sausage sizzle float was $3.50 light. Nobody's leaving the hall until someone owns up.
Carterton duck uses pedestrian crossing correctly, humans take notes
The duck looked both ways. The Hilux behind it did not.
Tokoroa Main Street gritted after council bloke 'felt a bit of a chill' at lunchtime
Temperature at time of gritting: 14 degrees. Forecast low: 11. Locals asked to please stop laughing.
Rangiora sky delivers middle finger to MetService forecast of "fine, light winds"
One cloud. One suburb. One MetService app now sitting face-down on the bench.
Wellington city council hires consultant to consult on whether it needs more consultants
Bloke I know reckons the fee's got a fee. And that fee's got a mate.
Royal commission finds fourth gnome lodged in Welcome Bay sewer line
Recommendation 14 concerns lawn ornaments. The plumber is still owed $487.