DEVONPORT MITRE 10 OUT OF ZIP TIES, LOCALS GATHER ON FORECOURT IN QUIET DESPAIR
Staff say a fresh shipment is due Thursday. Several customers have stayed anyway, just to be near the empty hook.
Barry Hoskins
Barry has never met a seagull incident he couldn't stretch to 800 words.
SUMNER SPARKY'S TOOLBOX KNOCKED OFF FRIDAY — REPLACED BY SATURDAY VIA $4 SAUSAGES
The thieves got a Makita combo kit. The community got 380 onions through a Briscoes pan.
NEWMARKET COMMUNITY HALL DOUBLE-BOOKED FOR YOGA AND BINGO, NEITHER SIDE WILLING TO BUDGE
Downward dog versus two fat ladies. The hall manager has gone to lie down in her car.
PAPAMOA CHEMIST OUT OF PANADOL BEFORE FORECAST DROPS BELOW 18 DEGREES
The southerly hadn't arrived. The Panadol already had.
TARADALE SCAFFOLDERS ADD $400 'ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT' LINE TO QUOTE
The homeowner asked what it was for. The scaffolder charged him another twenty for asking.
NEWTOWN SCHOOL BAKE SALE CUPCAKE PRICED AT $48 — PTA INSISTS "IT'S FOR THE TURF"
A single vanilla cupcake on a paper doily is now worth more than a tank of petrol and a flat white combined.
DEVONPORT MOTHER PRODUCES MEASURING TAPE AT SCHOOL GATE, INSISTS ZONE BOUNDARY RUNS THROUGH NEIGHBOUR'S HEDGE
Forty-two metres of grievance, settled in the rain outside Devonport Primary.
ROSLYN PTA TREASURER UNCOVERS $3.50 DISCREPANCY, CALLS EMERGENCY MEETING
The shortfall is roughly one sausage and a juice box. The principle, treasurer says, is the principle.
KARORI PRIMARY APP SENDS 47 NOTIFICATIONS ABOUT MUFTI DAY, PARENT'S PHONE GIVES UP
Forty-six were reminders. The forty-seventh corrected reminder twelve.
HAMILTON COUNCIL CALLS MEETING TO DISCUSS WHEN TO HOLD MEETINGS
Pre-meeting meeting scheduled for Thursday. Or the Thursday after. A working group will confirm.