COUNTDOWN TROLLEY FOUND IN MOSGIEL, ELEVEN KILOMETRES FROM ANY COUNTDOWN
The trolley has been on a longer journey than most second-year geography students.
Retail Ruckus
Supermarket aisles, mall Karen energy, and self-checkout meltdowns nationwide.
SUMNER DAIRY SELLS OUT OF HOT CHIPS DURING POWER CUT NOBODY CAN EXPLAIN
The fryer was off. The chips kept coming. Locals queued anyway.
ONERAHI MUM LOSES 14 YEARS OF FLY BUYS OVERNIGHT, BLOCKS NEW WORLD ENTRANCE WITH MOBILITY SCOOTER
She was saving them for a toaster. The toaster is no longer on the table. Neither is the scooter, technically.
STOKE 'CLOSING DOWN SALE' ENTERS NINTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR, OWNER NOW LISTING IT AS A FEATURE
The sign was last replaced in 2021, when the old one got sun-bleached into a suggestion.
PONSONBY PENSIONER ACCUSED OF SHOPLIFTING BY MACHINE THAT CAN'T TELL A CARROT FROM A PARSNIP
The Woolworths self-checkout flagged 82-year-old Eileen Brockett for 'suspicious bagging activity'. She had two onions and a Listener.
HENDERSON WAREHOUSE BOXING DAY SALE CITED IN THREE DIVORCE FILINGS, ONE PRANG ON LINCOLN ROAD
Family Court bracing for more once the air fryer queue clears.
HAMILTON KMART LAUNCHES 'TREASURE HUNT' THAT IS JUST STAFF ADMITTING THEY'VE LOST THE STOCK
Find an air fryer, win an air fryer. If you can find one. Which you can't.
DEVONPORT MITRE 10 OUT OF ZIP TIES, LOCALS GATHER ON FORECOURT IN QUIET DESPAIR
Staff say a fresh shipment is due Thursday. Several customers have stayed anyway, just to be near the empty hook.
TAKAPUNA PAK'NSAVE INTRODUCES QUEUE FOR THE QUEUE, BLOKE GIVES UP AND GOES TO NEW WORLD
Two queues, one trolley, zero patience. A Takapuna sparky reckons he aged out of his apprenticeship waiting for the first cordon.
PAPAMOA CHEMIST OUT OF PANADOL BEFORE FORECAST DROPS BELOW 18 DEGREES
The southerly hadn't arrived. The Panadol already had.
NEWMARKET BUNNINGS SAUSAGE SIZZLE DESCENDS INTO ONION-PLACEMENT STANDOFF
Operator put the onions under the sausage. Customer put the onions on the ground. Then she put herself in his face.
LINWOOD RETAIL PARK ONE-WAY SYSTEM CONFUSES SHOPPERS, STAFF, AND PERSON WHO DESIGNED IT
Six arrows. Three painted over. One Mitsubishi going the wrong way past Briscoes for the fourth time.
BISHOPDALE OP SHOP MUG SPARKS BIDDING WAR, POLICE CALLED, MUG STILL $2
Two women, one mug, one volunteer named Pat who has now requested a transfer to Hornby.
KARORI MALL SANTA OFFERING "PLATINUM TIER" PHOTO PACKAGE FOR $89.99
Standard package is a printed 6x4. Platinum gets you a USB and a longer chat with Santa.
ROSLYN WOOLWORTHS REJECTS GIFT CARD FOR BEING "TOO FESTIVE" — IT IS AUGUST
Cashier told customer the card had "a vibe" the system wasn't comfortable with.
NEWTOWN WOMAN'S CLICK-AND-COLLECT ARRIVES IN FRIDGE-SIZED BOX CONTAINING ONE (1) GRAPE
Woolworths says the packaging is "within tolerance". The grape is green.