LYALL BAY MITRE 10 OUT OF ZIP TIES; HALF THE SUBURB NOW HELD TOGETHER BY HOPE
The hardware run is a Saturday ritual. The ritual has hit a wall.
Retail Ruckus
Supermarket aisles, mall Karen energy, and self-checkout meltdowns nationwide.
STOKE NEW WORLD LOYALTY POINTS EXPIRE OVERNIGHT, PENSIONERS FORM ORDERLY BUT FURIOUS LINE
One woman had been saving since 2019 for a ham. The ham is now theoretical.
GUYS. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO MAKE THIS ARTICLE: GONVILLE OP SHOP MUG SPARKS BIDDING WAR
A $2 mug. A queue of three. A community I have, frankly, let down.
BISHOPDALE MALL SANTA FLOGGING $89 "PLATINUM" PHOTO PACKAGE TO NANAS WHO JUST WANTED A 4X6
Santa reportedly told one grandmother the basic option was "for poor children".
PAK'NSAVE SPREYDON TRIALS QUEUE FOR THE QUEUE, BLAMES "FLOW MANAGEMENT"
Shoppers now line up to be told where to line up. Barry Hoskins, who remembers when you just walked in, files from Spreydon.
NEWFIELD WOMAN'S CLUBCARD POINTS WITHHELD OVER BROCCOLI SHE SWEARS WAS ON SPECIAL
The broccoli was $3.49. The points were 47. The dispute is now into its fourth visit.
PAK'NSAVE AWAPUNI TRIALS QUEUE FOR THE QUEUE, BLOKES WITH ONE PIE NOW WAITING 25 MINUTES
Management calls it 'flow optimisation'. The bloke in front of me called it something else.
KARORI MUM LOSES 14,000 CLUBCARD POINTS AT 11.47PM ON A SUNDAY
Mate at the pub reckons his old lady's ham budget just got vaporised. There's a spreadsheet involved.
GUYS. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO MAKE THIS POST: MILSON PUMP RECEIPT NOW 2.4 METRES LONG
To my community, I am so sorry. The receipt is still printing.
MANUKAU WOOLWORTHS RETURNS DESK PRESENTED WITH BARBECUE STILL ON FIRE
Customer wants a refund. Customer also wants the sausages back.
ISLAND BAY WOOLWORTHS SELF-CHECKOUT ASKS CUSTOMER IF SHE'S 'OKAY TO CONTINUE'
The machine froze on a single kūmara. The customer froze on the existential question.
INVERCARGILL MITRE 10 RETURNS DESK ACCEPTS BARBECUE STILL ACTIVELY ON FIRE
Customer cited 'change of heart'. Staff cited the smoke alarm.
MT EDEN WOMAN HOLDS UP NEW WORLD QUEUE FOR 22 MINUTES OVER MISSING BROCCOLI POINTS
Clubcard says 40. Receipt says 10. Nobody is leaving until this is resolved.
TARADALE BP PUMP PRINTS RECEIPT LONGER THAN THE BLOKE'S DRIVEWAY
Forty-two bucks of 91. Three metres of paper. One tradie running late.
COUNTDOWN TROLLEY FOUND IN MOSGIEL, ELEVEN KILOMETRES FROM ANY COUNTDOWN
The trolley has been on a longer journey than most second-year geography students.
SUMNER DAIRY SELLS OUT OF HOT CHIPS DURING POWER CUT NOBODY CAN EXPLAIN
The fryer was off. The chips kept coming. Locals queued anyway.
ONERAHI MUM LOSES 14 YEARS OF FLY BUYS OVERNIGHT, BLOCKS NEW WORLD ENTRANCE WITH MOBILITY SCOOTER
She was saving them for a toaster. The toaster is no longer on the table. Neither is the scooter, technically.
STOKE 'CLOSING DOWN SALE' ENTERS NINTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR, OWNER NOW LISTING IT AS A FEATURE
The sign was last replaced in 2021, when the old one got sun-bleached into a suggestion.
PONSONBY PENSIONER ACCUSED OF SHOPLIFTING BY MACHINE THAT CAN'T TELL A CARROT FROM A PARSNIP
The Woolworths self-checkout flagged 82-year-old Eileen Brockett for 'suspicious bagging activity'. She had two onions and a Listener.
HENDERSON WAREHOUSE BOXING DAY SALE CITED IN THREE DIVORCE FILINGS, ONE PRANG ON LINCOLN ROAD
Family Court bracing for more once the air fryer queue clears.