CASEBROOK NETBALL MUM EJECTED FOR COACHING THE REF FROM THE SIDELINE
Under-11 fixture paused eleven minutes after mother refused to leave without a written apology.
Sports Sideline
Saturday morning rugby, netball, cricket, hockey, football — whatever's on at the local club.
CHRISTCHURCH COACH TELLS FLAXMERE UNDER-12s MUD-PIT IS "CHARACTER BUILDING" — PARENTS DISAGREE
Coach reckons the ankle-deep sludge is a life lesson. One dad reckons it's a war crime.
WINTON UNDER-11S NEARLY RIOT AFTER HALF-TIME ORANGES REPLACED WITH "BUDGET BLOODY MANDARINS"
Club treasurer defends the swap. Sideline dads defend nothing of the sort.
TAWA HOCKEY DAD BRINGS MEGAPHONE TO UNDER-11 GAME, REFUSES TO PUT IT DOWN EVEN AFTER YELLOW CARD
He's from Auckland, he's got batteries, and he's not going anywhere.
WAIHEKE UNDER-11S SAUSAGE SIZZLE TRIGGERS LIBRARY ALARM, EVACUATES SIX ADULTS AND A CAT
The onions were on. The librarian was not having it. The ref blew full-time from the car park.
SPREYDON UNDER-11 RUGBY MATCH STOPPED THREE TIMES IN TWENTY MINUTES — PLANE, COW, JANDAL
Ref blew the whistle for a Cessna. Then a heifer. Then a jandal. Parents lost the plot.
MAIREHAU UNDER-11 CRICKET MATCH ABANDONED AFTER LABRADOODLE REFUSES TO LEAVE PITCH FOR 40 MINUTES
The dog fielded better than half the slip cordon, according to one dad.
MOUNT VIC TOUCH MODULE ADOPTS MOSGIEL'S SARCASM SIN BIN — FIRST OFFENDER LASTED FOUR MINUTES
A public servant told the ref "oh mate, GREAT call" and was in the bin before the restart.
BISHOPDALE TOUCH GAME CALLED OFF AFTER DAD'S VAPE CLOUD SWALLOWS HALFWAY LINE
Ref couldn't see the ball. Ref couldn't see the players. Ref could smell blue raspberry from thirty metres.
ATAWHAI UNDER-11 SAUSAGE SIZZLE SETS OFF LIBRARY SMOKE ALARM, EVACUATES BOOK CLUB
The onions were browning. So, briefly, was the non-fiction section.
TAURANGA UNDER-15 NETBALL TEAM ENDS UP IN EASTBOURNE AFTER GPS BOOKS THEM ON A FERRY THAT DOESN'T EXIST
Coach reckons the app was confident about the 8.15am sailing. There is no 8.15am sailing.
AHURIRI NETBALL MUM EJECTED FOR COACHING THE REF EVERY 12 SECONDS
The under-11 game was 40 minutes long. She lasted 14.
PAPAKURA HOCKEY DAD BRINGS MEGAPHONE TO UNDER-13 GAME, DECLINES TO PUT IT DOWN
The umpire is 16. The megaphone is a Warehouse special. The volume is set to Papakura.
SHIRLEY SIDELINE DAD FILMING UNDER-11 SOCCER FOR "THE TRIBUNAL" NOW ON HIS THIRD MEMORY CARD
There is no tribunal. There has never been a tribunal. He's still filming.
HAMILTON EAST UNDER-13 RUGBY HALTED THREE TIMES IN ONE HALF — PLANE, COW, JANDAL
A Stuff investigation can reveal the match resumed, then stopped, then resumed, then stopped again.
NGONGOTAHA UNDER-11 CRICKET HALTED 22 MINUTES BY LAB NAMED BISCUIT
Umpire called dead ball. Dog wouldn't move. Dad on the boundary lost it at a teenager.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS PHILLIPSTOWN NETBALL TROPHY ENGRAVED '1987' AWARDED EVERY YEAR SINCE 2009
Fourteen winning captains held the cup aloft. None of them looked at the plinth.
UPPER RICCARTON UNDER-11s COACH INSISTS BOG IS "CHARACTER BUILDING" AS THIRD KID LOSES BOOT TO MUD
Coach Dazza reckons the swamp is a teaching moment. The parents reckon Dazza is the teaching moment.
BRIGHTON UNDER-11s SERVED BUDGET MANDARINS AT HALF-TIME — DADS NEARLY KICK OFF
Club president blames "a Pak'nSave situation". Sideline blames the club president.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS UNDER-10 'PLAYER OF THE DAY' WAS NOT ACTUALLY AT THE GAME
Forty-seven findings handed down. The chocolate fish has been impounded.