TAHUNANUI U-11 NETBALL MUM ACCUSED OF "PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE" VIA ORANGE QUARTERS
Other team's parents reckon the segments were cut to intimidate. They were not wrong.
Sports Sideline
Saturday morning rugby, netball, cricket, hockey, football — whatever's on at the local club.
TAURANGA UNDER-15 RUGBY BUS ROCKS UP TO MCLEAN PARK FOUR HOURS LATE — GPS BLAMED A FERRY
The under-15s. A Toyota Coaster. Nobody told the satnav the boat doesn't run anymore.
TE PUKE UNDER-11 REF DOWNS WHISTLE MID-GAME, CITES "SCHOOL PICKUP" AND "NOT BLOODY PAID FOR THIS"
Game abandoned at 14-all. Two dads still arguing about a forward pass nobody was there to call.
WINTON UNDER-13 RUGBY HALTED BY PLANE, COW, AND ONE JANDAL
Three stoppages in twelve minutes. The cow's still out there.
MIRAMAR UNDER-13 NETBALL SIDE PARADES TROPHY ENGRAVED '2019' FOR THREE WEEKS BEFORE ANYONE NOTICES
Engraver in Napier blames a long Friday. Coach blames the clubroom lighting. Mums blame each other.
NEWTOWN UNDER-11 NETBALL REF THREATENED WITH NEIGHBOURLY REVIEW OVER "DODGY CONTACT CALL"
The ref is 16. The mum is 43. The post is now pinned.
TAKAPUNA TOUCH MATCH STOPPED BY SIDELINE DAD'S VAPE CLOUD
The dad reckons it was pineapple ice. The ref says she couldn't see the try line.
LINWOOD NETBALL MUM BINS RIVAL'S ORANGES FOR BEING 'CUT WRONG' AT UNDER-11 FINAL
Quarter-time slicing now run by a woman called Donna and a laminated roster.
ONERAHI U-13 REF DOWNS WHISTLE AT 2.55PM, CITES "SCHOOL PICKUP, MATE"
Game abandoned at 14-all. Sideline dad still yelling about a forward pass twenty minutes later.
ISLAND BAY UNDER-11 FOOTY BBQ SETS OFF LIBRARY SMOKE ALARM, EVACUATES STORY TIME
Twenty-two toddlers ushered onto The Parade clutching picture books. Coach Brent reckons the snarlers were 'just getting going'.
PONSONBY UNDER-10s RUGBY DESCENDS INTO ORANGE-RELATED SHOUTING MATCH BETWEEN GROWN ADULTS
Two mothers, one chilly bin, no oranges. The children watched.
STOKE DAD FILMING UNDER-11 FOOTY FOR "THE TRIBUNAL" — TRIBUNAL DOES NOT EXIST
He has 47 hours of footage. He has been told 31 times there is no tribunal.
BISHOPDALE CRICKET DAD DEMANDS UMPIRE MOVE THE SUN
Under-13 match held up 22 minutes while bloke explains astronomy to a teenager in a hat.
KARORI UNDER-10S CLUB NAMES PLAYER OF THE DAY WHO WAS AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY IN JOHNSONVILLE
Kid hadn't kicked a ball. Hadn't laced a boot. Got the chocolate fish anyway.
MOSGIEL TOUCH MODULE INTRODUCES SIN BIN FOR SARCASM, FIRST OFFENDER BINNED AT 6.04PM
The new rule lasted four minutes before being tested. The bloke is still in the bin, sort of.
NEWMARKET HOCKEY DAD BRINGS MEGAPHONE TO UNDER-13 GAME, REFUSES TO LEAVE WHEN ASKED
The umpire is 16. The megaphone is loud. The dad is unrepentant.
PAPAMOA UNDER-14 NETBALL BUS STRANDED AT FERRY TERMINAL AFTER GPS BACKS ITSELF
Driver insists the app said 'board vessel'. The vessel had left at 6.40am.
SUMNER UNDER-11s COACH INSISTS KNEE-DEEP MUD IS 'CHARACTER BUILDING' AS THIRD KID LOSES A BOOT
Parents reckon the only character being built is the one swearing at the touchline.
HAMILTON EAST UNDER-12 RUGBY GAME HALTED THREE TIMES — PLANE, COW, AND ONE JANDAL
The cow had no comment. The jandal's owner is still at large.
GLADSTONE UNDER-11 SIDELINE NEARLY GOES FERAL OVER MANDARIN SUBSTITUTION AT HALF-TIME
Club treasurer cited budget. Sideline cited treason. Constabulary cited Section 4.