Real photos. Made-up news. Written by Margaret.
SOCKBURN PLAYGROUND SHUT FOUR MONTHS FOR "ASPIRATIONAL MAINTENANCE", COUNCIL WON'T SAY WHAT THAT IS
Council Chaos Sockburn
WINTON WOMAN CALLS 111 ON COURIER FOR BEING "TOO NICE"
Suburban Crime Winton
HEI HEI MAN WALKS COUNTDOWN TROLLEY 6KM HOME, DECLARED LOCAL HERO BY THREE PEOPLE
Community Quirks Hei Hei
Suburban Crime
More →- RUAKURA WHEELIE BINS FOUND FACING WRONG WAY — RESIDENT ESCALATES TO WATCH COMMITTEE Ruakura
- LOWER HUTT DRIVEWAY CHALK DRAWING DECLARED "UNLICENSED ROAD ART" BY NEIGHBOUR WITH CLIPBOARD Lower Hutt
- HAWTHORNDALE LETTER-WRITER ESCALATES DOG POO CAMPAIGN TO LAMINATED A4 Hawthorndale
- FRANKTON CAT NAMED 'PERSON OF INTEREST' ON NEIGHBOURLY POLL ABOUT BINS Frankton
- MAKETU MAILBOX VANDALISED BY 'YOUTHS' AND, ACCORDING TO ONE WITNESS, A POSSUM Maketu
- WINTON MAN LAUNCHES ONE-MAN INQUIRY INTO NEIGHBOUR'S SOLAR PANELS, WHICH HE BELIEVES ARE 'WATCHING HIM MOW' Winton
Council Chaos
More →- LEVIN RATEPAYERS FORK OUT $84K FOR REPORT CONCLUDING REPORTS ARE UNDERFUNDED Levin
- TAURANGA COUNCIL INSTALLS EV CHARGERS ON MATUA VERGE WHERE NO CAR HAS EVER PARKED Matua
- CROMWELL RATEPAYER'S BILL INCLUDES $400 FOR 'STRATEGIC VIBES', COUNCIL SAYS THAT'S CORRECT Cromwell
- AUCKLAND COUNCIL SENDS MANUKAU HOUSEHOLD THREE RECYCLING LETTERS, ALL CONTRADICT EACH OTHER Manukau
- TAURANGA CITY COUNCIL PAINTS ZEBRA CROSSING ACROSS PYES PA COUPLE'S DRIVEWAY, DECLINES TO EXPLAIN Pyes Pa
- CHRISTCHURCH CITY COUNCIL INSTALLS EV CHARGERS ON SUMNER CLIFF FACE NO CAR CAN REACH Sumner
Tradie Tales
More →- FITZROY BUILDER INSISTS FIST-SIZED HOLE IN ROOF IS "VENTILATION, BRO" Fitzroy
- AUCKLAND APPRENTICE, 17, SPENT SIX HOURS LOOKING FOR TARTAN PAINT — LADS ON SITE 'GENUINELY IMPRESSED' Taupo
- ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS 47 VB CANS ENTOMBED IN ISLINGTON CEILING, NO ONE FUCKEN OWNING UP Islington
- MORNINGSIDE SCAFFOLDING CREW ADDS $180 'ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT' LINE TO INVOICE Morningside
- ISLINGTON CHIPPIE'S TOOLBOX NICKED — SAUSAGE SIZZLE RAISES $43 AND A LOAF OF BUDGET BREAD Islington
- AUCKLAND BUILDER ON OPOHO REBUILD NAMES EVERY NAIL, DOWNS TOOLS UNTIL GREETED PROPERLY Opoho
Retail Ruckus
More →- RICHMOND WOOLWORTHS SELF-CHECKOUT ASKS CUSTOMER IF SHE'S "OKAY" AFTER FAILING TO SCAN A CUCUMBER Richmond
- GUYS. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO MAKE THIS ARTICLE: TE ANAU WOMAN'S ONE GRAPE ARRIVES IN FRIDGE-SIZED BOX Te Anau
- KMART HAMILTON'S 'TREASURE HUNT' PROMOTION IS JUST STAFF ASKING CUSTOMERS WHERE THINGS ARE Gore
- DINSDALE OP SHOP $2 MUG SPARKS BIDDING WAR, WOMAN OFFERS $47 AND A LASAGNE Dinsdale
- HAWTHORNDALE CHEMIST STRIPPED OF PANADOL 48 HOURS BEFORE FORECAST DRIZZLE Hawthorndale
- PAPAMOA OP SHOP $2 MUG SPARKS BIDDING WAR, TWO RETIREES NO LONGER SPEAKING Papamoa
School Gate
More →- ST ANDREWS MUM BRINGS MEASURING TAPE TO SCHOOL PICKUP AND WON'T LET IT GO St Andrews
- HUNTLY MUM DEPLOYS MEASURING TAPE AT SCHOOL GATE, DEMANDS ZONE REDRAWN BY 3.15PM Huntly
- HAVELOCK SCHOOL FUNDRAISER SHIFTS 400 ROLLS OF WRAPPING PAPER NOBODY WILL EVER USE Havelock
- ST HELIERS PTA MEETING ENTERS WEEK THREE AS WELLINGTON DAD REFUSES TO LEAVE HALL St Heliers
- AWAPUNI SCHOOL BAKE SALE CUPCAKE PRICED AT $18, PTA INSISTS IT'S "ARTISAN" Awapuni
- WELLINGTON WOMAN WITH THERMOS ATTENDS ATAWHAI SCHOOL MEETING, HAS NOT LEFT SINCE TUESDAY Atawhai
Sports Sideline
More →- PAKURANGA HOCKEY DAD BRINGS MEGAPHONE TO UNDER-12 GAME, USES IT Pakuranga
- FRANKTON UNDER-11 BBQ EVACUATES QUEENSTOWN LIBRARY, REF STILL BLAMED Frankton
- ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS MAKETU CLUBROOMS SMELL OF 'DEEP HEAT AND REGRET', RECOMMENDS EXTRACTOR FAN Maketu
- CHARTWELL NETBALL TROPHY ENGRAVED '2022' — NOBODY NOTICES FOR FOUR MONTHS Chartwell
- CASEBROOK NETBALL MUM EJECTED FOR COACHING THE REF FROM THE SIDELINE Casebrook
Weather Watch
More →- MERIVALE WEATHER APP INSISTS IT'S SUNNY WHILE ANTARCTICA VISIBLY APPROACHES FROM THE SOUTH Merivale
- NORTH DUNEDIN BRACES FOR SNOW THAT HAS NEVER, IN RECORDED HISTORY, ACTUALLY ARRIVED North Dunedin
- WESTSHORE MAN VISITING AUCKLAND OFFICE WITNESSES PUFFER JACKET DEBATE AT 18 DEGREES Westshore
- BROMLEY PICNIC MOVED INDOORS AFTER NOR'WESTER, THERMOS STANDOFF ENSUES Bromley
- HOKOWHITU PICNIC ABANDONED AFTER SIX MINUTES, THERMOSES DEPLOYED IN SILENT PROTEST Hokowhitu
- ST HELIERS BEACH DAY ABANDONED AFTER WEATHER THAT WAS 'FINE FIVE MINUTES AGO' TURNS ON EVERYONE St Heliers
Community Quirks
More →- LINWOOD SCARECROW NAMED BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN Merivale
- ROSLYN WOMAN'S LOST JANDAL RETURNED FROM AUCKLAND AFTER 8 MONTHS, PRESS CONFERENCE HELD ON LAWN Roslyn
- AVONSIDE NOTICEBOARD FEUD OVER LEAF BLOWERS ENTERS SIXTH WEEK, NOW HAS FOOTNOTES Avonside
- OTAHUHU PARADE HELD UP 40 MINUTES AFTER LOCAL BRINGS GOAT "FOR ATMOSPHERE" Otahuhu
- UPPER HUTT MAN PUSHES ROGUE COUNTDOWN TROLLEY 14KM HOME FROM WELLINGTON CBD Upper Hutt
- MARSHLANDS MAN WHEELS PAK'NSAVE TROLLEY BACK FROM SHIRLEY, DECLARES HIMSELF 'JUST DOING THE RIGHT THING' Marshlands
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