Pukekohe declares quiet panic over mildly warm wind, onion growers blame Auckland
A breeze rolled in off the Bombays and half the town went inside. The other half posted about it.
Weather Watch
Wellington wind, Canterbury nor'westers and Southland frost, treated as a national emergency. Every Weather Watch yarn we have filed, newest first — 73 stories, none of them true.
Lyttelton weather app insists it's sunny as southerly takes bloke's gazebo
MetService widget says 14 and clear. The gazebo is now in Diamond Harbour.
Royal commission finds Mangakino umbrella inversion 'inevitable', recommends 47 reforms
After 14 months and $2.3m in legal fees, the Commission has determined the umbrella was, on the balance of probabilities, a bit shit.
Fendalton woman's Southland umbrella inverted in 4 seconds flat, blames "climate"
The umbrella was bought in Invercargill, which locals say should have been a warning.
Opoho woman's umbrella lasts four seconds, blames science
The umbrella was from Invercargill. The wind was from Opoho. Neither party is speaking.
Guys. I have to address the umbrella situation.
A Northcote content creator's tearful apology after a Southland-branded umbrella inverted on Cranford Street.
Taradale braces for snow that has never fallen there
MetService said the word once. The New World is now out of bread.
Tokoroa Main Street gritted after council bloke 'felt a bit of a chill' at lunchtime
Temperature at time of gritting: 14 degrees. Forecast low: 11. Locals asked to please stop laughing.
Wainoni man reckons the nor'wester is out to get him specifically
Complainant alleges the wind waits until he opens the door. MetService declines to comment on motive.
Pukete Pak'nSave stripped of bread and milk by 8am over forecast 'light frost'
MetService said minus one. Hamilton said stock up like the roads are closing.
Rangiora sky delivers middle finger to MetService forecast of "fine, light winds"
One cloud. One suburb. One MetService app now sitting face-down on the bench.
Wairoa humidity declared 'hair hazard' after third frizz incident this week
One local's fringe reportedly blocked her vision on the main drag. Her flat white went cold.
Bromley fog so thick parent walks past own child at school gate
Visibility on Wednesday morning was described as 'about a metre, tops' by a woman who had already given up.
Washdyke picnic moved indoors as southerly hits, six thermoses spark lino standoff
Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this video about a Sunday picnic.
Carterton umbrella lasts eight seconds, owner blames climate change
You didn't hear it from me. Heard it off Kev at the Carterton Club, Thursday. Maybe Wednesday.
Feilding man lodges formal complaint against the wind, alleges "personal vendetta"
Constable's note: the wind is not, at time of writing, a person under the Crimes Act 1961.
Picton braces for 'Auckland weather' after one humid afternoon
The mercury hit 22 with a bit of stick in the air. Marlborough has declared this unacceptable.
MetService promises "fine and settled" over Devonport — one cloud didn't get the memo
The forecast said sun. The sky said get stuffed. A single dark cloud is now parked directly over the ferry terminal doing whatever it wants.
MetService promises fine day in Devonport, one cloud disagrees
The forecast said sunny. The cloud said no.
Papamoa sunburn victim blames "sneaky" September sun, not the four-hour nap on the beach
Bloke from Milson went on holiday up north. Came back the colour of a stop sign.