Hokitika builder declares deck "finished except for the finishing" — finishing includes the stairs
The invoice arrived in full. The stairs did not.
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Mount Maunganui meeting on $140,000 bronze pigeon ends with retiree escorted from hall
The pigeon is two metres tall. Nobody at the Mount asked for it.
Gladstone netball dad films umpire, 14, "for the tribunal" — there is no tribunal
The umpire is in Year 10. The tribunal is a bloke from Nelson with a phone.
Gate Pa primary bans glitter after incident staff describe as "biblical"
The Year 3 craft afternoon ended at 2.20pm on Thursday. The glitter has not.
Dog holds Feilding cricket match to ransom, declines to name price
The umpire called dead ball. The dads called the umpire a coward. The dog still has the ball.
Picton road cones now outnumber residents two to one — Marlborough district council "comfortable with the ratio"
Roughly 9,000 cones, 4,500 people, and one bloke actually holding a shovel.
Welcome Bay mall Santa accused of upselling photo packages to crying toddlers
The Bronze package is one photo. The Platinum is eleven photos, a keyring, and a chat about your credit limit.
Glenholme man hoses driveway every night of hose ban — says it's "for morale"
The driveway is concrete. The concrete is fine. The bloke is from Palmerston North, which he reckons explains a lot.
Greytown cat caught opening neighbour's garage door on camera — installer says door is "working perfectly"
The door's under warranty. The cat isn't.
Parnell school apologises for spelling "sausage sizzle" as "sausage sizzle"
Four hundred parents have now read the correction. None of them can find the mistake.
Sumner hill car-push: a breakfast workout for local officers
Witness reckons one officer was eating a muesli bar. Could not confirm flavour.
Onehunga mum accused of "mufti day arms race" after sending son in full tuxedo
It was a gold coin donation. She brought a cummerbund.
Picton braces for 'Auckland weather' after one humid afternoon
The mercury hit 22 with a bit of stick in the air. Marlborough has declared this unacceptable.
Cashmere café pigeon refuses tips, accepts only crumbs
Regulars say the bird has been there longer than two of the baristas.
Royal commission finds Karori 'closing down' sign has been closing down since 2016
Commissioner satisfied the shop is not, in fact, closing down.
Te Aro's Margaret Whitcombe takes on NZTA in diagram dispute
The diagram shows a red car doing the right thing. One Te Aro pensioner has thirteen objections.
Local cows unimpressed with bizarre beef-on-beef diet proposal
The paddock has gone quiet. The committee is meeting behind the trough.
Paihia library amnesty quietly wipes $340 of mayoral DVD fines
Whangārei District Council's goodwill gesture has retroactively pardoned the mayor's five-year hold on 'The Bourne Supremacy'.
Shirley sideline dad filming under-11 soccer for "the tribunal" now on his third memory card
There is no tribunal. There has never been a tribunal. He's still filming.
Churton Park woman's palmy gift card refused for being 'too festive' in August
A Stuff investigation into a retail policy no one can produce in writing.
Melville gnome vanishes overnight, Neighbourly thread hits 147 replies and zero leads
Owner says the gnome, Reginald, had been on the front lawn since 2009. Theories include a possum, a magpie, and the bloke from number 42.
Ashhurst school board meeting enters hour four as thermos parent refuses to cede floor
She brought soup. She brought printouts. The Chair brought regret.
Huntly public meeting on proposed pigeon statue ends with two resignations and a thrown scone
Waikato District Council wanted feedback on a $48,000 bronze pigeon. They got it.
Mangakino sparky's apology video declares job 'finished except for the finishing'
Ten-minute confessional posted to Instagram at 11.47pm Tuesday. Kitchen still has no light switches.
Paihia gnome named Keith at centre of Henderson-on-Henderson dispute, neither Henderson related
Both families produce receipts. Neither receipt is for Keith.
Inglewood primary flogs wrapping paper at $12 a roll, six roll minimum
The PTA says it's for the pool. The pool has been getting a shade sail since 2019.
Hillmorton gnome vanishes overnight, Neighbourly post yields 47 theories and zero gnomes
One suggested the gnome 'walked off of his own accord'. Another blamed the nor'wester. Nobody blamed the actual suspect, which was almost certainly a teenager.
Opotiki ratepayer billed $340 for stormwater pipe that does not, has never, and will not exist
Ōpōtiki District Council insists the invoice is correct. The pipe insists on nothing, being imaginary.
Botany ute hosts rooftop sausage sizzle, inspector arrives mid-onion
The Hilux is loaded, the gas bottle is on, and the building consent is theoretical.
Papakura hockey dad brings megaphone to under-13 game, declines to put it down
The umpire is 16. The megaphone is a Warehouse special. The volume is set to Papakura.