PARAPARAUMU UTE ARRIVES AT SCHOOL DROP-OFF FLYING SEVEN FLAGS, PARENTS REQUEST UN OBSERVERS
What we know: the Hilux has more flags than the Beehive. What we don't know: which country it represents.
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ROTORUA SCHOOL APP SENDS 47 MUFTI DAY NOTIFICATIONS, PARENTS LEARN GOLD COIN COSTS $2
One dad turned his phone off at notification 31 and missed his actual job. Reckons the app owes him a day's wage.
HAWERA LIBRARY AMNESTY QUIETLY WIPES MAYOR'S $340 DVD TAB
South Taranaki's top brass walks free on three years of overdue Sopranos box sets while everyone else got a stern email.
KARORI MUM LOSES 14,000 CLUBCARD POINTS AT 11.47PM ON A SUNDAY
Mate at the pub reckons his old lady's ham budget just got vaporised. There's a spreadsheet involved.
RANGIORA WOMAN RINGS 111 ON COURIER FOR BEING "TOO NICE"
Suspect smiled, said please, and put the parcel on the dry side of the porch. Police attended.
OPUNAKE PERGOLA PASSES COUNCIL INSPECTION, FAILS FIRST DECENT SOUTHERLY
The consent says yes. The four-by-two says no. Gravity got the final word.
NGAIO WOMAN'S 'AUCKLAND BEACH DAY' LASTS ELEVEN MINUTES BEFORE SOUTHERLY ARRIVES
The towels were laid out. The chilly bin was open. The weather had other plans, as it does.
CROFTON DOWNS WHEELIE BIN LEFT OPEN OVERNIGHT, NEIGHBOUR FILES "FORMAL CONCERN"
The lid was up eight centimetres. The street WhatsApp has not recovered.
PAK'NSAVE AWAPUNI TRIALS QUEUE FOR THE QUEUE, BLOKES WITH ONE PIE NOW WAITING 25 MINUTES
Management calls it 'flow optimisation'. The bloke in front of me called it something else.
PYES PA RETIREE TRUSTS METSERVICE APP, GETS SOAKED BRINGING IN THE WASHING
The app said sunny. The cloud said otherwise. The sheets said nothing — they were already wet.
GUYS. I NEED TO ADDRESS THE 'SHREK 2' SITUATION
A Bishopdale ratepayer addresses his community after a Stoke library amnesty wiped a Mayor's overdue DVDs.
TE PUKE UNDER-11 REF DOWNS WHISTLE MID-GAME, CITES "SCHOOL PICKUP" AND "NOT BLOODY PAID FOR THIS"
Game abandoned at 14-all. Two dads still arguing about a forward pass nobody was there to call.
TAURANGA UNDER-15 RUGBY BUS ROCKS UP TO MCLEAN PARK FOUR HOURS LATE — GPS BLAMED A FERRY
The under-15s. A Toyota Coaster. Nobody told the satnav the boat doesn't run anymore.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS BOTANY PERGOLA 'APPROVED BY COUNCIL BUT NOT BY PHYSICS'
Fourteen months. Forty-seven witnesses. One engineer in tears. The findings are in.
FRANKTON HALL MEETING ON PIGEON STATUE COLLAPSES INTO SHOUTING, ONE WALKOUT, ONE PIGEON
Hamilton City Council wanted feedback on a $48,000 bronze. They got it.
TE ANAU SCARECROW NAMED BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT DID NOT HAPPEN
The scarecrow has a rosette. There was no ceremony. Nobody knows who did it.
NEWFIELD WOMAN'S CLUBCARD POINTS WITHHELD OVER BROCCOLI SHE SWEARS WAS ON SPECIAL
The broccoli was $3.49. The points were 47. The dispute is now into its fourth visit.
TAHUNANUI U-11 NETBALL MUM ACCUSED OF "PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE" VIA ORANGE QUARTERS
Other team's parents reckon the segments were cut to intimidate. They were not wrong.
CHURTON PARK SCHOOL BANS GLITTER AFTER HALL INCIDENT DEEMED 'BIBLICAL'
Board of trustees has classified the stuff as a banned craft material. Cleaners are still finding it on the ceiling.
PAK'NSAVE SPREYDON TRIALS QUEUE FOR THE QUEUE, BLAMES "FLOW MANAGEMENT"
Shoppers now line up to be told where to line up. Barry Hoskins, who remembers when you just walked in, files from Spreydon.
BISHOPDALE MALL SANTA FLOGGING $89 "PLATINUM" PHOTO PACKAGE TO NANAS WHO JUST WANTED A 4X6
Santa reportedly told one grandmother the basic option was "for poor children".
GUYS. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO MAKE THIS ARTICLE: GONVILLE OP SHOP MUG SPARKS BIDDING WAR
A $2 mug. A queue of three. A community I have, frankly, let down.
ELTHAM RESIDENTS NOW OFFICIALLY OUTNUMBERED BY ROAD CONES, COUNCIL SHRUGS
South Taranaki District Council says the two-to-one ratio is 'within tolerance', whatever that means.
FRANKTON NOTICEBOARD LEAF-BLOWER FEUD ENTERS WEEK SIX, NEW LAMINATED REPLY APPEARS OVERNIGHT
Six A4 pages. Two highlighter colours. One corkboard near collapse.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS UNDER-10 'PLAYER OF THE DAY' WAS NOT ACTUALLY AT THE GAME
Forty-seven findings handed down. The chocolate fish has been impounded.
KELBURN WHEELIE BIN LID LEFT OPEN OVERNIGHT, STREET WHATSAPP GROUP NOW AT 247 MESSAGES
It was a Tuesday morning on Salamanca Road. Nothing about that day suggested what was about to unfold.
BRIGHTON UNDER-11s SERVED BUDGET MANDARINS AT HALF-TIME — DADS NEARLY KICK OFF
Club president blames "a Pak'nSave situation". Sideline blames the club president.
SPREYDON SCHOOL PICK-UP LANE NOW REQUIRES TWO HI-VIS PARENTS, A WHISTLE AND A CEASEFIRE
The PTA has appointed an unofficial envoy. She drives a Kluger.
ATAWHAI LIBRARY FINE DEBATE TURNS UGLY, RETIREE BLAMES COUNCIL AND PRICE OF BUTTER
Heather has THOUGHTS and she is not afraid to share them
UPPER RICCARTON UNDER-11s COACH INSISTS BOG IS "CHARACTER BUILDING" AS THIRD KID LOSES BOOT TO MUD
Coach Dazza reckons the swamp is a teaching moment. The parents reckon Dazza is the teaching moment.