ROSLYN KARAOKE NIGHT BANNED AFTER POWER BALLAD INCIDENT
The organiser won't say which song. Regulars won't stop saying which song.
Trending Now
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS MANGAPAPA DUNNY CLOSURE "NOT A WELLNESS EVENT"
After 14 months and $2.3m in costs, the Commission finds the toilets are still shut.
INGLEWOOD SCARECROW TAKES OUT BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT DID NOT OCCUR
The scarecrow, known locally as Trevor, was unavailable for comment on account of being made of hay.
GLADSTONE CROSSING LADY RUNS PICKUP LANE LIKE A CORRECTIONS OFFICER, PARENTS QUIETLY THRILLED
Mrs Lorraine Beattie has been on the lollipop for six weeks. Idling times are down 40 percent. Nobody's laminated a complaint yet.
CLIVE FENCE PAINTED WRONG SHADE OF CREAM PROMPTS FORMAL MEDIATION AT COMMUNITY HALL
Complainant reckons it's custard. Respondent reckons it's bone. Mediator brought biscuits.
SPREYDON UNDER-11 RUGBY MATCH STOPPED THREE TIMES IN TWENTY MINUTES — PLANE, COW, JANDAL
Ref blew the whistle for a Cessna. Then a heifer. Then a jandal. Parents lost the plot.
COUNTDOWN TROLLEY TURNS UP IN GLENORCHY, 45KM FROM THE NEAREST BLOODY COUNTDOWN
The trolley was last seen in Frankton. It is now in a paddock past Glenorchy, and nobody's putting their hand up.
TARADALE BRACES FOR SNOW THAT HAS NEVER FALLEN THERE
MetService said the word once. The New World is now out of bread.
ISLAND BAY MUM SETS UP CAMP AT PARAPARAUMU PTA MEETING, STILL THERE THREE HOURS LATER
She brought a thermos. She brought opinions. She brought a spare cardigan. Nobody's game to ask her to leave.
GUYS. I HAVE TO ADDRESS THE UMBRELLA SITUATION.
A Northcote content creator's tearful apology after a Southland-branded umbrella inverted on Cranford Street.
WOOLSTON HALL DOUBLE-BOOKS YOGA AND BINGO — INSTRUCTOR NOW APOLOGISING ON YOUTUBE
Sharon witnessed downward dog collide with two fat ladies. Someone had to answer for it. That someone made a video.
HIGHBURY SCHOOL LOST PROPERTY BIN NOW DEEP ENOUGH TO REQUIRE 'ARCHAEOLOGICAL ASSESSMENT', PARENTS TOLD
Bottom layer predates the current principal. Possibly the current century.
WAIHEKE UNDER-11S SAUSAGE SIZZLE TRIGGERS LIBRARY ALARM, EVACUATES SIX ADULTS AND A CAT
The onions were on. The librarian was not having it. The ref blew full-time from the car park.
GRASMERE CAT NAMED 'PERSON OF INTEREST' ON NEIGHBOURLY POLL, LEADING BY 31 VOTES
Ginger tom Mervyn is beating an actual human suspect 43 to 12. The human is furious.
ALEXANDRA RATEPAYER BILLED $400 FOR 'STRATEGIC VIBES' — COUNCIL SAYS IT'S 'ONGOING'
The line item sits between 'kerb realignment' and 'consultation phase 2'. Nobody at council can say what a vibe costs per hour.
AUCKLAND PARKING WARDEN TICKETS MOBILITY SCOOTER OUTSIDE HAWTHORNDALE DAIRY, IS 1,400KM FROM JURISDICTION
The scooter was parked. The warden was lost. The ticket is still on the handlebars.
GERALDINE MITRE 10 OUT OF ZIP TIES — TRADIES STARING INTO THE MIDDLE DISTANCE
The cable-tie aisle has been described as 'a crime scene, basically'.
OMOKOROA MAN INSTALLS FOUR-CAMERA CCTV RIG TO MONITOR LETTERBOX, NOTHING ELSE
The letterbox has received two flyers and a rates notice since August.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS TAUPO PRIMARY MUFTI DAY $47.20 SHORT
After 47 sitting days and one submission written in glitter pen, the Commission has reported back.
OHAUITI PLAYGROUND SHUT FOR "ASPIRATIONAL MAINTENANCE" — COUNCIL WON'T SAY WHAT THEY'RE ASPIRING TO
Slide works. Swings work. Consultant's invoice apparently doesn't.
OPOHO WOMAN'S UMBRELLA LASTS FOUR SECONDS, BLAMES SCIENCE
The umbrella was from Invercargill. The wind was from Opoho. Neither party is speaking.
HOKITIKA MAILBOX REDECORATED DAILY FOR SIX WEEKS — COUNCIL WON'T SAY IF IT'S ART OR A THREAT
Tuesday it was shells. Wednesday it was tinfoil. Nobody has seen anyone doing it.
OUTER KAITI COMMUNITY GARDEN SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE OVER WHETHER KALE IS A PRANK
Half the plot reckons it's a vegetable. The other half reckons someone's having a lend.
MARTON HALL DOUBLE-BOOKED: YOGA CLASS AND BINGO NIGHT NOW SHARING THE FLOOR
The downward dogs are down. The bingo callers are ropeable. Nobody's leaving.
SPREYDON PTA MEETING ENTERS FOURTH HOUR AS WELLINGTON TRANSPLANT REFUSES TO LEAVE
She brought a two-litre thermos. Locals now understand this was a warning.
MOSGIEL PERGOLA PASSES COUNCIL INSPECTION, FAILS GRAVITY BY LUNCHTIME
Consent stamped Tuesday. Structure horizontal Wednesday. Owner blames the nor'wester. Physics blames the builder.
OAMARU PTA MEETING ENTERS SIXTH HOUR AS THERMOS DAD REFUSES TO YIELD FLOOR
He arrived with a two-litre Stanley and a laminated agenda no-one had asked for.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS ROTOTUNA READING LOG DISPUTE 'REGRETTABLE, YET INSTRUCTIVE'
After 14 months, 47 witnesses, and one crying deputy principal, the Commission has delivered its findings.
KARORI SCARECROW NAMED BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN
The sash is real. The ceremony was not. Nobody can explain the certificate.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS KEITH THE GARDEN GNOME BELONGS TO NEITHER HENDERSON FAMILY, POSSIBLY BOTH
After 47 sitting days and one adjournment for a barbecue, the Commission delivers its findings on Awapuni's gnome question.