GRASMERE SITE SHUT DOWN 40 MINUTES OVER PIE TEMPERATURE COMPLIANCE
H&S consultant issued a written warning about a mince and cheese. The pie has not commented.
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ISLAND BAY OP SHOP MUG PRICED AT $2 SELLS FOR $46 AFTER BIDDING WAR
The mug says 'World's Best Nan'. Neither bidder is a Nan.
WESTSHORE DOG POO NOTE-LEAVER STRIKES 14TH TIME, NOW LAMINATING
The notes started in June. They are now laminated and cable-tied to fenceposts.
LINWOOD BOAT ON BLOCKS ENTERS FOURTH YEAR OF 'HERITAGE' DEFENCE, NEIGHBOURS UNCONVINCED
The vessel hasn't touched water since Muldoon was in charge. Its owner says that's the point.
LINWOOD SCARECROW WINS BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT NEVER HAPPENED
The sash is real. The ceremony is not. Gavin is tied to a stake and cannot confirm either way.
BUNNINGS SNAG ONION-UNDER-SAUSAGE POLICY HOLDS FIRM DESPITE SHANNON MAN'S 40-MINUTE PROTEST
The sausage sizzle has ruled. The onion goes under. Ivan disagrees, at length, in the carpark.
CHRISTCHURCH DOG PARK STALLED BY WRITTEN SUBMISSION FROM ONE (1) CAT
Council confirms the submission was signed with a paw print and lodged before the deadline.
MASTERTON CENTRAL MAN INSTALLS CCTV TRAINED SOLELY ON LETTERBOX, MAKES TEARFUL APOLOGY VIDEO
Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this video.
MOUNT WELLINGTON WOMAN FINDS ONE SOCK, STARTS SUPPORT GROUP FOR OTHERS IN SAME BOAT
First meeting Thursday at the community hall. BYO orphan sock and a plate.
BROMLEY FOG SO THICK PARENT WALKS PAST OWN CHILD AT SCHOOL GATE
Visibility on Wednesday morning was described as 'about a metre, tops' by a woman who had already given up.
TAMAHERE WHEELIE BIN LID LEFT OPEN — STREET GROUP CHAT NOW 340 MESSAGES DEEP
One flap of plastic. Three days of accusations. A retired accountant has printed diagrams.
Rangiora's Rebel Sheep Lands Behind Bars After Rose Rampage
Ewe number 447 was collected from a South Belt paddock on Tuesday. Nobody on the street will comment on the record.
MAPUA FOOTPATH UPGRADE HALTED BY ONE STROPPY CAMELLIA
Tasman District Council spent $47,000 on a plan. The plan did not survive a shrub.
NEW LYNN WOMAN CONVINCED NEIGHBOUR'S SOLAR PANELS ARE 'WATCHING HER HANG THE WASHING'
She's rotated the Hills hoist twice. The panels, she says, rotated with her.
KMART HAMILTON'S 'TREASURE HUNT' REVEALED TO BE STAFF SIMPLY LOSING THINGS
Store insists misplaced stock is a 'family activity'. Shoppers reckon it's the same as every other Tuesday.
DUNEDIN CITY COUNCIL SHUTS NORTH DUNEDIN PLAYGROUND FOR 'ASPIRATIONAL MAINTENANCE' — NO ONE CAN EXPLAIN WHAT THAT IS
Sources who spoke to The Daily Yarn on condition of anonymity say the swings were 'basically fine, mate'.
TAURANGA UNDER-15 NETBALL TEAM ENDS UP IN EASTBOURNE AFTER GPS BOOKS THEM ON A FERRY THAT DOESN'T EXIST
Coach reckons the app was confident about the 8.15am sailing. There is no 8.15am sailing.
ISLAND BAY MAN INSTALLS FOUR CCTV CAMERAS TRAINED SOLELY ON HIS LETTERBOX
Front door, driveway, and shed remain, in his words, 'not the point'.
HERNE BAY MAN CONVINCED NEIGHBOUR'S SOLAR PANELS ARE 'WATCHING HIM MOW'
Reckons the glare hits different when he's shirtless. Neighbour reckons he's a knob.
INVERCARGILL FOOTPATH JOB DOWNS TOOLS OVER SINGLE STROPPY CAMELLIA
Six blokes, two diggers, one shrub. Guess who's winning.
TAMAHERE PRINCIPAL'S NEWSLETTER NOW INCLUDES SIX STANZAS OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE POETRY
Parents say the sonnet about the pickup lane is 'a bit much for a Wednesday'.
WAIROA HUMIDITY DECLARED 'HAIR HAZARD' AFTER THIRD FRIZZ INCIDENT THIS WEEK
One local's fringe reportedly blocked her vision on the main drag. Her flat white went cold.
CLIVE INFLUENCER APOLOGISES FOR CHIP-RELATED SEAGULL INCIDENT IN 14-MINUTE VIDEO NO ONE ASKED FOR
Constable Pearce watched the whole thing. He has notes.
HAWERA WOMAN CALLS 111 ON COURIER FOR BEING "TOO POLITE" — RECKONS IT'S A FRONT
He said please. He said thank you. He wiped his feet. Something's off, says Colleen.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS FOURTH GNOME LODGED IN WELCOME BAY SEWER LINE
Recommendation 14 concerns lawn ornaments. The plumber is still owed $487.
GUYS. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO FILE THIS ONE: NEWTOWN WANTS LEAF BLOWERS BANNED BEFORE 10AM
An apology, an accounting, and a petition making its way through the southern suburbs.
GREENMEADOWS SCHOOL APP FIRES 47 MUFTI DAY NOTIFICATIONS BEFORE BREAKFAST
By 8.14am one mum had turned her phone off and cried into a flat white.
MASTERTON DISTRICT COUNCIL TO DEBATE WHETHER HOT CROSS BUNS REQUIRE RESOURCE CONSENT
One councillor reckons the cross on top might be unpermitted signage.
WELLINGTON CITY COUNCIL HIRES CONSULTANT TO CONSULT ON WHETHER IT NEEDS MORE CONSULTANTS
Bloke I know reckons the fee's got a fee. And that fee's got a mate.
RUATORIA PLUMBER PULLS FOURTH GNOME FROM SAME DRAIN, RECKONS IT'S PERSONAL
The gnome had a fishing rod. The pipe had three litres of standing water.