MATANGI MAILBOX GETS FRESH DECORATION EVERY MORNING, COUNCIL CAN'T DECIDE IF IT'S ART OR A THREAT
Day 34: a plastic frog holding a teaspoon. Day 35: the teaspoon is gone. The frog looks worried.
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KENSINGTON NOTICEBOARD LEAF BLOWER FEUD HITS WEEK SIX, NEIGHBOURS NOW ONLY TALKING VIA A3
What started as a note about morning noise is now, in this reporter's view, a matter for the Ombudsman.
RANGIORA SKY DELIVERS MIDDLE FINGER TO METSERVICE FORECAST OF "FINE, LIGHT WINDS"
One cloud. One suburb. One MetService app now sitting face-down on the bench.
HALSWELL WOMAN LOCKED OUT OF AUCKLAND COUNCIL PORTAL DESPITE LIVING 800KM AWAY
The portal has rejected fourteen passwords. One was the portal's own suggestion.
PUKETE PAK'NSAVE STRIPPED OF BREAD AND MILK BY 8AM OVER FORECAST 'LIGHT FROST'
MetService said minus one. Hamilton said stock up like the roads are closing.
WAINONI MAN RECKONS THE NOR'WESTER IS OUT TO GET HIM SPECIFICALLY
Complainant alleges the wind waits until he opens the door. MetService declines to comment on motive.
ISLAND BAY DECK PROMISED 'TUESDAY' NOW ENTERING THIRD YEAR OF TUESDAYS
The Auckland chippie who took the job in 2022 has since had two kids and one divorce.
BETHLEHEM LEMON TREE AT CENTRE OF 14-MONTH BOUNDARY DISPUTE, STUFF UNDERSTANDS
Two neighbours. One tree. Approximately 400 lemons a season. A dossier.
ATAWHAI UNDER-11 SAUSAGE SIZZLE SETS OFF LIBRARY SMOKE ALARM, EVACUATES BOOK CLUB
The onions were browning. So, briefly, was the non-fiction section.
WAINONI GNOME CUSTODY BATTLE ENTERS THIRD WEEK, TWO HENDERSON FAMILIES REFUSE TO SPEAK AT LETTERBOX
Keith the gnome has been photographed on both lawns. Neither Henderson will say who moved him last.
BISHOPDALE TOUCH GAME CALLED OFF AFTER DAD'S VAPE CLOUD SWALLOWS HALFWAY LINE
Ref couldn't see the ball. Ref couldn't see the players. Ref could smell blue raspberry from thirty metres.
HIGHBURY CHEMIST OUT OF PANADOL 48 HOURS BEFORE FORECAST DRIZZLE, SOURCES CONFIRM
A Daily Yarn investigation into the disappearance of every packet of paracetamol in a two-kilometre radius of a Highbury Unichem.
TOKOROA MAIN STREET GRITTED AFTER COUNCIL BLOKE 'FELT A BIT OF A CHILL' AT LUNCHTIME
Temperature at time of gritting: 14 degrees. Forecast low: 11. Locals asked to please stop laughing.
ROYAL COMMISSION OF INQUIRY: THE ONEHUNGA GIFT CARD INCIDENT OF 2024
After 14 months, 47 witnesses, and one unredeemed $50 Prezzy Card, the Commission has reached its findings.
LINWOOD CAT NAMED 'PERSON OF INTEREST' IN NEIGHBOURLY POLL, DECLINES TO COMMENT
The cat, known to the street as Mr Whiskerston, has received 43 of 61 votes and is currently asleep on a Corolla.
WHITBY WHEELIE BIN LEFT OPEN OVERNIGHT — STREET GROUP CHAT NOW AT 340 MESSAGES
One resident called the sight 'confronting'. Another has offered to draft a bylaw.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS NAPIER SOUTH 'FOUND OBJECT MUSEUM' IS ONE HUBCAP AND A STORY
Terms of reference expanded twice. The hubcap remains the sole exhibit.
CARTERTON DUCK USES PEDESTRIAN CROSSING CORRECTLY, HUMANS TAKE NOTES
The duck looked both ways. The Hilux behind it did not.
AUCKLAND PARKING WARDEN TICKETS MOBILITY SCOOTER OUTSIDE FITZROY DAIRY
The warden was on holiday. He brought the ticket book.
BLENHEIM PTA TREASURER DEMANDS FORENSIC AUDIT AFTER $3.50 GOES WALKABOUT
The sausage sizzle float was $3.50 light. Nobody's leaving the hall until someone owns up.
BETHLEHEM COMMUNITY HALL DOUBLE-BOOKED: YOGA CLASS AND BINGO NIGHT NOW SHARING FLOOR SPACE
The downward dogs are downward. The B7s are being called. Nobody is leaving.
MOUNT VIC TOUCH MODULE ADOPTS MOSGIEL'S SARCASM SIN BIN — FIRST OFFENDER LASTED FOUR MINUTES
A public servant told the ref "oh mate, GREAT call" and was in the bin before the restart.
MAREWA WOOLWORTHS LOYALTY POINTS EXPIRE OVERNIGHT — LOCALS FORM QUEUE OF GRIEVANCE BY 7AM
Denise had been saving for a ham since March. The ham is now theoretical.
MAUNU PRIMARY SOCK HEIGHT ROW ENTERS THIRD WEEK, PTA CHAIR NOW MEASURING ANKLES
The policy says 'mid-calf'. One mum reckons that's a range. The chair reckons it's a line.
BISHOPDALE RATEPAYERS FUND $84,000 REPORT CONCLUDING REPORTS ARE UNDERFUNDED
The report recommends a further report. Christchurch City Council says this is a positive finding.
MAIREHAU UNDER-11 CRICKET MATCH ABANDONED AFTER LABRADOODLE REFUSES TO LEAVE PITCH FOR 40 MINUTES
The dog fielded better than half the slip cordon, according to one dad.
RICHMOND FOOTPATH UPGRADE HALTED BY ONE CAMELLIA THAT WON'T BUDGE
Christchurch City Council confirms works paused pending an arborist, a mediator, and possibly a priest.
DUNEDIN MEETING ON NORTH D CYCLEWAY DERAILED BY AUCKLAND PIGEON STATUE FOR 90 MINUTES
DCC hired a consultant to explain a bronze bird nobody in Otago asked for. He billed the trip down.
CROFTON DOWNS MITRE 10 OUT OF ZIP TIES — LOCAL PROJECTS FROZEN IN PLACE
Three weekend jobs abandoned by Sunday lunch. One trailer still parked on Churchill Drive with a tarp flapping.
YALDHURST PETROL RECEIPT MEASURED IN METRES, NOT CENTS
Bloke filled up. Pump filed a novel.