TE PUKE UNDER-11 REF DOWNS WHISTLE MID-GAME, CITES "SCHOOL PICKUP" AND "NOT BLOODY PAID FOR THIS"
Game abandoned at 14-all. Two dads still arguing about a forward pass nobody was there to call.
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TAURANGA UNDER-15 RUGBY BUS ROCKS UP TO MCLEAN PARK FOUR HOURS LATE — GPS BLAMED A FERRY
The under-15s. A Toyota Coaster. Nobody told the satnav the boat doesn't run anymore.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS BOTANY PERGOLA 'APPROVED BY COUNCIL BUT NOT BY PHYSICS'
Fourteen months. Forty-seven witnesses. One engineer in tears. The findings are in.
FRANKTON HALL MEETING ON PIGEON STATUE COLLAPSES INTO SHOUTING, ONE WALKOUT, ONE PIGEON
Hamilton City Council wanted feedback on a $48,000 bronze. They got it.
TE ANAU SCARECROW NAMED BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT DID NOT HAPPEN
The scarecrow has a rosette. There was no ceremony. Nobody knows who did it.
NEWFIELD WOMAN'S CLUBCARD POINTS WITHHELD OVER BROCCOLI SHE SWEARS WAS ON SPECIAL
The broccoli was $3.49. The points were 47. The dispute is now into its fourth visit.
TAHUNANUI U-11 NETBALL MUM ACCUSED OF "PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE" VIA ORANGE QUARTERS
Other team's parents reckon the segments were cut to intimidate. They were not wrong.
CHURTON PARK SCHOOL BANS GLITTER AFTER HALL INCIDENT DEEMED 'BIBLICAL'
Board of trustees has classified the stuff as a banned craft material. Cleaners are still finding it on the ceiling.
PAK'NSAVE SPREYDON TRIALS QUEUE FOR THE QUEUE, BLAMES "FLOW MANAGEMENT"
Shoppers now line up to be told where to line up. Barry Hoskins, who remembers when you just walked in, files from Spreydon.
BISHOPDALE MALL SANTA FLOGGING $89 "PLATINUM" PHOTO PACKAGE TO NANAS WHO JUST WANTED A 4X6
Santa reportedly told one grandmother the basic option was "for poor children".
GUYS. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO MAKE THIS ARTICLE: GONVILLE OP SHOP MUG SPARKS BIDDING WAR
A $2 mug. A queue of three. A community I have, frankly, let down.
ELTHAM RESIDENTS NOW OFFICIALLY OUTNUMBERED BY ROAD CONES, COUNCIL SHRUGS
South Taranaki District Council says the two-to-one ratio is 'within tolerance', whatever that means.
FRANKTON NOTICEBOARD LEAF-BLOWER FEUD ENTERS WEEK SIX, NEW LAMINATED REPLY APPEARS OVERNIGHT
Six A4 pages. Two highlighter colours. One corkboard near collapse.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS UNDER-10 'PLAYER OF THE DAY' WAS NOT ACTUALLY AT THE GAME
Forty-seven findings handed down. The chocolate fish has been impounded.
KELBURN WHEELIE BIN LID LEFT OPEN OVERNIGHT, STREET WHATSAPP GROUP NOW AT 247 MESSAGES
It was a Tuesday morning on Salamanca Road. Nothing about that day suggested what was about to unfold.
BRIGHTON UNDER-11s SERVED BUDGET MANDARINS AT HALF-TIME — DADS NEARLY KICK OFF
Club president blames "a Pak'nSave situation". Sideline blames the club president.
SPREYDON SCHOOL PICK-UP LANE NOW REQUIRES TWO HI-VIS PARENTS, A WHISTLE AND A CEASEFIRE
The PTA has appointed an unofficial envoy. She drives a Kluger.
ATAWHAI LIBRARY FINE DEBATE TURNS UGLY, RETIREE BLAMES COUNCIL AND PRICE OF BUTTER
Heather has THOUGHTS and she is not afraid to share them
UPPER RICCARTON UNDER-11s COACH INSISTS BOG IS "CHARACTER BUILDING" AS THIRD KID LOSES BOOT TO MUD
Coach Dazza reckons the swamp is a teaching moment. The parents reckon Dazza is the teaching moment.
GUYS. I NEED TO ADDRESS THE KARORI HAIL SITUATION
A statement from Dave the Tradie regarding aggressive peas and the work he's doing.
GREEN ISLAND PARADE STALLED 40 MINUTES AFTER ATTENDEE ARRIVES WITH GOAT FOR "ATMOSPHERE"
The goat had no permit, no lead long enough, and no interest in the brass band.
STOKE NEW WORLD LOYALTY POINTS EXPIRE OVERNIGHT, PENSIONERS FORM ORDERLY BUT FURIOUS LINE
One woman had been saving since 2019 for a ham. The ham is now theoretical.
HAMILTON WEST WOMAN GETS THREE COUNCIL LETTERS ABOUT BINS, NONE OF THEM AGREE
One says yellow lid. One says red lid. One thanks her for joining a trial she's never heard of.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS PHILLIPSTOWN NETBALL TROPHY ENGRAVED '1987' AWARDED EVERY YEAR SINCE 2009
Fourteen winning captains held the cup aloft. None of them looked at the plinth.
LYALL BAY MITRE 10 OUT OF ZIP TIES; HALF THE SUBURB NOW HELD TOGETHER BY HOPE
The hardware run is a Saturday ritual. The ritual has hit a wall.
METSERVICE PROMISES "FINE AND SETTLED" OVER WHANGANUI — ONE CLOUD DIDN'T GET THE MEMO
The cloud is described as dark and rude.
FEILDING RETAINING WALL HELD UP BY NO. 8 WIRE AND BRENDAN'S DENIAL
Builder reckons it'll see out the winter. Won't say which one.
NGONGOTAHA UNDER-11 CRICKET HALTED 22 MINUTES BY LAB NAMED BISCUIT
Umpire called dead ball. Dog wouldn't move. Dad on the boundary lost it at a teenager.
CAVERSHAM PRIMARY BANS GLITTER AFTER INCIDENT BOARD CHAIR DESCRIBES AS "BIBLICAL"
Three weeks on, the Year 2 carpet still sparkles under fluorescent light. So do two teachers.
SUMNER DAIRY SELLS OUT OF HOT CHIPS DURING POWER CUT, OWNER 'NOT SURE HOW'
The fryer was off. The chips kept coming. Then they didn't.