ENDERLEY LIBRARY MEETING ON OVERDUE FINES DESCENDS INTO 40-MINUTE ARGUMENT ABOUT DIGNITY
A community consultation about $2.40 turned into a philosophical inquiry no-one asked for.
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ARROWTOWN PTA MEETING ENTERS SEVENTH HOUR AS WELLINGTON MOTHER REFUSES TO LEAVE
She brought her own oat milk. She brought her own opinions. She brought a two-litre thermos.
PUKEKOHE DECLARES QUIET PANIC OVER MILDLY WARM WIND, ONION GROWERS BLAME AUCKLAND
A breeze rolled in off the Bombays and half the town went inside. The other half posted about it.
BURNSIDE DECK JOB 'DONE TUESDAY' ENTERS THIRD YEAR, PILES STILL IN UTE
The homeowner has aged. The Auckland sparky's mate has not been seen since March 2023.
CHRISTCHURCH COACH TELLS FLAXMERE UNDER-12s MUD-PIT IS "CHARACTER BUILDING" — PARENTS DISAGREE
Coach reckons the ankle-deep sludge is a life lesson. One dad reckons it's a war crime.
CHURTON PARK WOMAN'S PALMY GIFT CARD REFUSED FOR BEING 'TOO FESTIVE' IN AUGUST
A Stuff investigation into a retail policy no one can produce in writing.
MELVILLE GNOME VANISHES OVERNIGHT, NEIGHBOURLY THREAD HITS 147 REPLIES AND ZERO LEADS
Owner says the gnome, Reginald, had been on the front lawn since 2009. Theories include a possum, a magpie, and the bloke from number 42.
ASHHURST SCHOOL BOARD MEETING ENTERS HOUR FOUR AS THERMOS PARENT REFUSES TO CEDE FLOOR
She brought soup. She brought printouts. The Chair brought regret.
HUNTLY PUBLIC MEETING ON PROPOSED PIGEON STATUE ENDS WITH TWO RESIGNATIONS AND A THROWN SCONE
Waikato District Council wanted feedback on a $48,000 bronze pigeon. They got it.
MANGAKINO SPARKY'S APOLOGY VIDEO DECLARES JOB 'FINISHED EXCEPT FOR THE FINISHING'
Ten-minute confessional posted to Instagram at 11.47pm Tuesday. Kitchen still has no light switches.
PAIHIA GNOME NAMED KEITH AT CENTRE OF HENDERSON-ON-HENDERSON DISPUTE, NEITHER HENDERSON RELATED
Both families produce receipts. Neither receipt is for Keith.
INGLEWOOD PRIMARY FLOGS WRAPPING PAPER AT $12 A ROLL, SIX ROLL MINIMUM
The PTA says it's for the pool. The pool has been getting a shade sail since 2019.
HILLMORTON GNOME VANISHES OVERNIGHT, NEIGHBOURLY POST YIELDS 47 THEORIES AND ZERO GNOMES
One suggested the gnome 'walked off of his own accord'. Another blamed the nor'wester. Nobody blamed the actual suspect, which was almost certainly a teenager.
OPOTIKI RATEPAYER BILLED $340 FOR STORMWATER PIPE THAT DOES NOT, HAS NEVER, AND WILL NOT EXIST
Ōpōtiki District Council insists the invoice is correct. The pipe insists on nothing, being imaginary.
BOTANY UTE HOSTS ROOFTOP SAUSAGE SIZZLE, INSPECTOR ARRIVES MID-ONION
The Hilux is loaded, the gas bottle is on, and the building consent is theoretical.
PAPAKURA HOCKEY DAD BRINGS MEGAPHONE TO UNDER-13 GAME, DECLINES TO PUT IT DOWN
The umpire is 16. The megaphone is a Warehouse special. The volume is set to Papakura.
FEILDING MAN LODGES FORMAL COMPLAINT AGAINST THE WIND, ALLEGES "PERSONAL VENDETTA"
Constable's note: the wind is not, at time of writing, a person under the Crimes Act 1961.
SPREYDON SPARKY LABELS EVERY SWITCH "MAYBE", DOES A RUNNER
Homeowner now selects lighting by process of elimination and prayer.
AHURIRI NETBALL MUM EJECTED FOR COACHING THE REF EVERY 12 SECONDS
The under-11 game was 40 minutes long. She lasted 14.
NGARUAWAHIA MUM'S DRIVEWAY CHALK DRAWING SLAPPED WITH 'UNLICENSED ROAD ART' COMPLAINT
The road in question is a driveway. The art in question is a rainbow.
LINWOOD RETAINING WALL HELD UP BY NO. 8 WIRE, HOPE, AND ONE BLOKE NAMED SHANE
Engineer says it's 'not technically a wall anymore' but concedes it's still doing wall things.
LEVIN SCHOOL CAR PARK NOW A "DIPLOMATIC ZONE" AT 3PM PICKUP
Two mums haven't spoken since a wing-mirror bump in April. A third is running peace talks via WhatsApp.
CROFTON DOWNS READING LOG FEUD ESCALATES TO BOARD OF TRUSTEES, PARENTS BRING LEVER-ARCH FOLDERS
One family logged 47 minutes. Another logged 45. The board meets Thursday.
CARTERTON UMBRELLA LASTS EIGHT SECONDS, OWNER BLAMES CLIMATE CHANGE
You didn't hear it from me. Heard it off Kev at the Carterton Club, Thursday. Maybe Wednesday.
WASHDYKE PICNIC MOVED INDOORS AS SOUTHERLY HITS, SIX THERMOSES SPARK LINO STANDOFF
Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this video about a Sunday picnic.
PARAPARAUMU PETROL PUMP PRINTS RECEIPT LONGER THAN THE DRIVEWAY
Local motorist filled up 40 litres. Received 40 metres.
CHRISTCHURCH COUNCIL INSTALLS EV CHARGERS ON SOUTHSHORE SPIT WHERE NO CAR HAS EVER PARKED
Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this article. But here we are — four chargers, zero cars, one very confused seagull.
REDWOOD PLAYGROUND SHUT FOR 'ASPIRATIONAL MAINTENANCE' — NOBODY AT COUNCIL WILL SAY WHAT THAT IS
Christchurch City Council has closed a working slide behind orange netting for reasons nobody can define in under 400 words.
QUEENSTOWN POTHOLE REPORTED TO NAPIER APP BY MISTAKE, GETS MORE SYMPATHY THAN QLDC HAS OFFERED IN A DECADE
Ratepayer meant to email QLDC. Ended up on a Hawke's Bay portal that at least had the decency to lie kindly.
GUYS. I NEED TO ADDRESS THE MAYOR'S DVD SITUATION
Constable Dave Pearce sits down in front of the ring light to talk about accountability and $47.80 in library fines that quietly disappeared.